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People Who Are Deeply Self-Absorbed Usually Display These 10 Behaviors (without realizing)

Friend, have you had difficulties with a Family Member or Friend who causes you Considerable Stress and you’re not sure what you’re up against? I wish you well with your Endeavours.

by Lachlan Brown

Being self-absorbed is far different from having a healthy dose of self-esteem.

When someone is truly self-absorbed, they’re not just confident – they’re consumed by their own world, often oblivious to the feelings and needs of others.

These individuals often exhibit a series of behaviors that give them away, even if they don’t realize it themselves.

In this article, we’ll delve into those telltale signs. Get ready to discover the 10 behaviors commonly displayed by people who are deeply self-absorbed, without them even realizing it.

1) Constantly talking about themselves

We all love a good conversation, but with a self-absorbed individual, it’s usually a one-way street.

Ever found yourself stuck in a monologue rather than a dialogue? That’s your first clue.

Self-absorbed people have an uncanny knack for steering every conversation back to them – their experiences, their achievements, their problems.

It’s as if they’re the star of their own show, and everyone else merely exists as an audience. The concept of an equal exchange or genuine interest in others often eludes them.

This isn’t to say they’re bad people. They might not even realize they’re doing it. But the tendency to monopolize conversations is a classic sign of being self-absorbed.

2) Lack of empathy

Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of others, to put yourself in their shoes. However, deeply self-absorbed people often struggle with this.

I remember a friend I had back in university. Let’s call her Jane. Jane was incredibly talented and charismatic, but she had one glaring flaw – she couldn’t empathize with others.

For example, once when another friend was going through a tough breakup, Jane’s response was to talk about her own relationship problems. She never paused to acknowledge our friend’s pain or show any sort of understanding.

At first, we brushed it off as Jane being Jane. But over time, it became clear that Jane’s lack of empathy was a sign of her deep self-absorption. She was so caught up in her own world that she failed to see the emotional needs of those around her.

3) Inability to listen

Have you ever talked to someone and felt like your words were just bouncing off them? That’s a common experience when dealing with self-absorbed individuals.

Listening is a skill that requires focus and genuine interest in what the other person is saying. It’s not just about hearing the words, but understanding the emotions and thoughts behind them.

Self-absorbed people often struggle with this. They may be physically present in the conversation, but mentally, they’re elsewhere.

According to research published in the Journal of Experimental Psychology, individuals who exhibit high levels of narcissism, which often includes self-absorption, are more likely to interrupt or talk over others during conversations. This suggests an inability or unwillingness to truly listen to what others have to say.

4) Excessive self-praise

Recognizing one’s own achievements is a healthy practice. But for self-absorbed individuals, it often goes beyond mere acknowledgement.

They have an inflated sense of their own worth and aren’t shy about expressing it. Whether it’s their latest accomplishment at work, a personal victory, or simply what they had for lunch, they feel the need to broadcast it to everyone.

While it’s perfectly fine to be proud of your achievements, constant self-praise can come off as arrogant and self-centered. It’s as if they’re constantly seeking validation or approval from others, which is a typical trait of self-absorption.

5) Disregard for others’ boundaries

Respecting others’ boundaries, both physical and emotional, is crucial for maintaining healthy relationships. Unfortunately, self-absorbed individuals often struggle with this concept.

They may frequently invade people’s personal space or ignore clear signs that they’re making others uncomfortable. They might also dismiss others’ feelings or beliefs if they don’t align with their own.

This disregard for boundaries often stems from their inability to see beyond their own perspective. They’re so focused on their own wants and needs that they fail to consider the impact of their actions on others.

6) Difficulty in forming deep relationships

At the heart of every meaningful relationship lies mutual respect, empathy, and understanding. But for those who are deeply self-absorbed, forming such connections can be challenging.

Their tendency to put themselves at the center of everything often leaves little room for others. They might have numerous acquaintances but struggle to maintain close, long-term friendships or partnerships.

It’s a poignant reality that many self-absorbed individuals might not even recognize. They may yearn for deeper connections, yet their self-focused behaviors often push people away, leaving them feeling isolated and misunderstood.

7) They’re often defensive

Criticism, even if constructive, can be hard to swallow for anyone. But for self-absorbed individuals, it’s often met with defensiveness.

I recall a former colleague of mine who was particularly resistant to feedback. Every time someone suggested an improvement or pointed out a mistake, he’d immediately become defensive. It was as if each critique was a personal attack on him.

This defensiveness, I realized, was rooted in his self-absorption. His identity was so tightly bound to his work that any criticism felt like a threat to his self-worth. This made it almost impossible for him to accept feedback and grow from it.

8) Overly generous at times

This might seem surprising but self-absorbed individuals can sometimes be excessively generous. However, the motive behind this seemingly selfless act is often self-serving.

They might shower others with gifts or favors, but not out of pure altruism. Instead, they do so to draw attention to their own generosity or to create a sense of obligation in others.

This way, they keep the spotlight on themselves and ensure that the narrative always circles back to them. It’s a subtle yet telling sign of deep-seated self-absorption.

9) Difficulty in apologizing

Apologizing requires humility and the ability to admit one’s mistakes. However, for self-absorbed individuals, saying “I’m sorry” can be a daunting task.

They often struggle to see their own faults or how their actions might have hurt others. Even when they do recognize their mistake, they might downplay it or shift the blame to avoid taking full responsibility.

This inability to genuinely apologize and make amends can damage relationships and further highlight their self-centered nature.

10) Lack of genuine interest in others

Perhaps the most telling sign of a self-absorbed person is their lack of genuine interest in others. They might appear engaged in a conversation, but their attention often wanes if the topic doesn’t revolve around them.

They rarely ask questions about others’ lives or feelings and show little curiosity about other people’s experiences. This lack of interest stems from their preoccupation with their own thoughts, feelings, and experiences, making true connection and understanding difficult.

Understanding, not judging

The complexities of human behavior often stem from a myriad of factors – upbringing, environment, personal experiences, and yes, even our neurochemistry.

While it’s easy to judge self-absorbed individuals for their behaviors, it’s essential to remember that everyone is fighting their own battles. Some might be aware of their self-absorption and actively working to change, while others might be oblivious to their actions.

Dr. Craig Malkin, a clinical psychologist and author of “Rethinking Narcissism,” points out that narcissism (a trait often associated with self-absorption) isn’t necessarily a bad thing. It becomes problematic only when it’s excessive or deficient.

So the next time you encounter someone displaying these behaviors, instead of rushing to judgement, pause and consider their perspective.

Understanding these behaviors is the first step to fostering empathy and facilitating change – both for ourselves and for those we interact with. After all, we’re all works in progress, continually learning and evolving.

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