Learning the Beauty of Small Talk
It can be Beneficial
Whether it's at a party, a friend's wedding, or the workplace, some people just dread small talk. And while these events are great places to meet new people, it can bring more anxiety than excitement for some. They might worry that it will be boring, awkward, or that they'll run out of things to say. Then there are people who believe small talk represents meaningless and trivial conversation. But it doesn't have to be that way! In reality, increased well-being and positivity are some of the benefits of small talk.
Be interested in things
People with hobbies and interests always seem to have a topic or an opinion to share. Get inspired by them, and you'll have a launching point to get someone else involved in conversation.
Get your mind right
If you spend the week before the event anticipating and worrying because you know you'll feel uncomfortable, you're setting yourself up for failure. Try to remember why you're going, whether it's to celebrate a friend or connect with your coworkers.
Reduce anxiety
Some people may approach small talk with anxiety. To curb your anxiety, stay rational and positive. Just ask yourself, "What's the worst that can happen?" You'll see it's not that bad.
Decide who you'd like to meet before you go
Take a look at who else will be there and plan to meet those who might share something in common with you.
Make a game out of making small talk
Play a game with yourself to meet at least five people and challenge yourself to learn two new things. This mental shift can help calm down the anxiety and make the conversation more fun.
Read a lot
The more you read, the more trivia or facts you'll have for potential conversations. It can be online or reading books.
Don’t be the sidekick
Instead of shadowing someone you already know, branch out and meet people on your own.
Relax and be present in the conversation
Rather than try to plan what you will say next, relax and focus on what the other person is actually saying. By listening and being present, the conversation will flow naturally.
Learn their story
Everyone has a story to tell, and if you enable them to tell it through your questions, you'll start the process of building a strong and meaningful relationship.
Be interested
Stay away from yes-or-no questions, and instead start with easy questions that feel natural. Just make sure to listen for an interesting comment to explore and build upon.
Take responsibility for meeting others
Say hello first. If you always expect others to make the first move, you'll be disappointed.
Have your small talk questions ready
It doesn’t have to be complicated, just something to get you started and form new acquaintances. Questions could be "How do you know _____?" or "What brought you to this area?"
Ask thoughtful questions, and then follow up
Ask thoughtful questions, listen, and then ask great follow-up questions based on their response. Your small talk can quickly evolve into something meaningful.
Ask about a person’s life, not their work
Don't ask people what they do. Instead, ask how they spend their time. Questions like this one open the door to more interesting conversations.
Really listen to others talk
Whether it’s work-related or not, carefully listen to the other person, and provide a thoughtful response.
Be kind to yourself
If you feel like you botched a conversation, or wish you hadn't said something, take a few minutes to reflect. Then simply let it go. Everyone makes mistakes.
Don't only focus on your own interests
Your favorite topic isn't everyone else's, so don’t assume everyone else is interested. Be attentive to if people are engaged in the conversation, and flow with it.
Try to find common ground to make small talk about
Try to find something that you have in common with the person, as then your interest will be genuine. Look for anything like hometowns, sports, or pets.
Be yourself
No one likes fake people. So, in the interest of being more outgoing, don't be someone you aren't.
Compliment and shift
Find something that you can genuinely compliment the other person on, then shift to a question so as to avoid any awkwardness.
Share something honest
When you let your guard down, you're more likely to have more genuine conversations.
Talk about the environment around you
If you ever run out of things to say, make a comment about the architecture, artwork on the walls, or a bird singing outside. The list goes on.
Be an introducer
If you are talking with someone and another guest looks a little uncomfortable, try to include them by inviting them into the conversation.
Share anecdotes
Don't hesitate to let your conversation partner know that you can relate to what he or she is telling you. You'll instantly create a connection.
Don't expect too much
It's fine that not every get-together results in new friendships. You still accomplished your goal of going when it was easier not to, and that's enough.
Plan a graceful exit for when you’re finished making small talk
Just say something simple like, "It's been great to meet you. I hope you have an amazing vacation," before excusing yourself to do something else.
Get in the habit of making small talk
Don't constrain this habit to social events. Say hello to the person next to you on the plane or in a coffee shop. The habit of saying hello and listening is something you can develop a little every day.
Sources: Forbes and Success – Found on MSN
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