By Habiba Jessica Zaman, NCC, LPC
Everyone talks about having a hard time trusting another person after a betrayal and so few discuss how difficult it is to trust ourselves as a result.
We focus on what the other person did to us and try to find ways to set up barricades to make sure this never happens to us again by someone else. We remind ourselves of the pain it has caused, the powerlessness, and the wrongness of what was done to us.
All of that is correct. We are hurt, we did feel powerless to stop it, we didn’t think they would do this to us, and it is wrong.
We then come up with creative ways to safeguard our bleeding heart. Defense mechanisms to find that power again that was taken from us through the betrayal.
Some turn to shutting out the heart, convincing oneself that we do not need another to rely on or find solace in, running from another when they get a bit too close, or perhaps putting up obstacles and bringing up unnecessary conflicts when we find that we are starting to open up and allowing vulnerability to present in the form of emotional intimacy.…





