By Janet Vargas: Founder of this Website
and Kate Kelly: Children's Writer
We Get So Busy And Time Flies So Quickly, Lets Look Closely At This: Good Meals Are Nourishing, Good Sleep Is Nourishing, Breathing In Nice Fresh Air Is Nourishing - Especially When Our Lungs Expand With Deep Breaths Because Most Of Us Are Shallow Breathers. And So It Is With Affection When Expressed In Practical Ways - It's Lovely, It's Wholesome, And Showing Each-Other Some Undivided Attention Is SO GOOD! That's Why I Call It Nourishing.
I found this following article some months ago and remembered it just now. It's written for children and there is still a Heart-Child in everyone of us, so I hope this helps all of us. Especially children because they count on us! Shall We Go?
I always remembered this article from time to time after reading it - so meaningful - and having found it again, do think it's timely to have this in my Blog. I'm sure some of you will think so too, once you read it. Enjoy!
The Importance of Paying Attention to Each Child
By Kate Kelly
At a Glance
Focusing your attention on each of your children boosts their self-esteem.
Time alone together gives you the chance to know each child in a special way.
Individual attention can make you more aware of what each child thinks and feels.
You want all your kids to feel valued and appreciated. But when you have more than one child, it’s natural to devote more time to the one with learning or attention issues. You may assume that your other children know how much you love them.
Yet brothers and sisters of those with learning or attention issues can easily feel lost in the shuffle. Not getting regular attention from you can affect their self-esteem and personal development. Your child needs consistent time with you. Here’s why focusing your attention on each of your children can set the stage for a positive relationship with all of them and lift their self-esteem.
You know what makes your child unique.
Children have their own interests and needs. By spending time together, you become more aware of your child’s passions and talents. Your child, in turn, feels understood.
You can build a richer relationship.
When you know your child’s interests and potential strengths, you can plan activities that support them. For example, maybe you discover your older child likes vintage movies, or your younger child loves big trucks. By going to movie revivals or construction sites together, you share an experience that’s personal and special.
It keeps the lines of communication open.
Your child can open up when you spend relaxed time together, away from the demands of your house and other children. It’s a chance to talk about what it’s like to be nervous about trying out for the school play, whatever. When you know what your child is thinking, you can figure out how to respond—with a word of encouragement or by providing an opportunity to let things out.
Your actions speak louder than words.
Giving undivided attention to your child sends a very important message. Essentially, you’re saying: “You are important to me. I’m interested in what you have to say, and I enjoy being with you.” That means a lot.
It can make up for those times when a brother or sister gets too much attention. Individual attention is crucial, but it’s not the only way you can put your child in the spotlight. In day-to-day routines, you can also make your child feel on top, at least sometimes. Here are some ideas:
1. Let your child pick a café or restaurant, or family activity. It’s easy to let the needs of a child with certain issues dictate the kinds of places you eat out or a certain activity. You may always eat out at the same place just because you know it and it’s easy. But sometimes, you can try mixing it up and let the other child choose.
2. Say to them that each child’s needs are important. If you’re working on homework together, don’t drop what you’re doing because another child needs help. If you can, say, “Honey, can you wait a few minutes? I’m busy” that would be good.
3. Include a love note in the lunch box, or place a sticky note on the mirror. A tangible reminder of your love can give your child a lift.
4. Spending individual time with each child helps you better understand who your child is.
5. When kids get regular time and attention from parents, they feel important.
6. When you know what your child is thinking and dreaming about, you can help your child manage feelings and meet goals.
Kate Kelly has been writing and editing for more than 20 years, with a focus on parenting.
THESE THINGS ARE SO IMPORTANT
So many parents these days are concerned about developing their Child's IQ. You hear it often said "I want a brainy child"............."We want our children to be successful"............ The world around us is partly responsible for that, with it's expectations and material influence. They talk about our brain as if it's our greatest asset - apart from our looks. Do they not? And people feel they have to keep up with it all - that you have to keep up the pace to be in the race.
Really speaking, we need to do the opposite sometimes - we need to Slow Down and Find Composure, we need to Refocus and Prioritize. Try not to let the spirit of the world dominate your decisions and control the way you spend your energies. Take some time out to determine True Values.
May I ask you, what good is a brain and body and "lots of money" if our heart is undernourished? Yes my friends, we need to think about Our Values and forget theirs! We need to Focus on these things that Sustain because without them, we and our children can feel quite empty on the inside and be lacking a true foundation for life.
Did you know the emphasis has now shifted in recent times to Emotional Intelligence being more important than IQ? Yes, many Neuroscientists are telling us this. That means that every time we practice the principles and tips written in the article here, we are Instilling Love into our child's heart and Confidence into their Emotional Intelligence - ours as well. That's something they don't get from a classroom, they derive from us, hey?
A Thought: When You Think About It
Most of us give a considerable amount of time and attention to things that are unimportant really? Surely we can channel some of that time into our kids. And each-other.
And believe it or not, I discovered in Research some years ago that Laughing Together often with our kids in their little years helps to give them a stronger Capacity for Cope later in life. Yes, if you laugh together as a family, it makes you More Resilient. Isn't that good?
Truly, attention is the Best Gift and we can give this every day:)
I just discovered this article is not on the internet anymore and I'm not sure why? To me, it is an Evergreen and So Essential. None of her other writings compare - this is So Good!